There’s a darkness in my gut, spreading through all my parts. A cloudy substance almost weightless. I take off my glasses and wipe them on my shirt. I put my hair up, change my shoes. Everything is cloudy still. I’ve discovered the secret in life and it’s staying inside a house, getting your fill on the rent. The smell of someone else’s laundry, the lacy curtains in a neighbor’s window. Makes me want to die. In sleep, I am free. Don’t tell me about what free is.

The cloud is seeped out of me and takes up the whole space. I drink coffee, it makes me nervous, I take a clonapin, I rest, I sleep. I’m waiting yes, for this all to be over.